Today is the first day of fall 2017 and the first day of my blog. I found this post my Dad wrote last year while I was still hospitalized from a double lung transplant I had on June 21, 2016 with complications.
September 1, 2016:
“Wow, what a summer. Thankfully, it is almost over and fall will soon begin. My father died in mid-September when I was a young child. I have always loved the spring for the obvious reasons of better weather and the proverbial rebirth of life but my dislike for fall had to do with the negative emotions connected to my father’s death. But now there will be joy in the fall when my bonnie lass returns to the warm embrace of her home. The falling leaves and the cool air will no longer be companions of death but of life. Mr. Emerson has an essay on compensation, which seems to be appropriate. We may not always be given what we want or need at a specific point in our lives but life, at least it seems so to me, has a way of compensating us in other ways. I have been compensated twice now in the fall, the first time when Jackie survived her birth trauma and now having survived her lung transplant. Isn’t life amazing? I look forward to the crisp air and the falling leaves, they will be auguries of life, of the new life my daughter will be embarking upon with renewed energy and vigor. What a testament to her spirit. Twice now, I have been witness to her indomitable will to live. I am so proud of this amazing human being for her zest for life, for the many friends she has, and for her desire to be a productive member of our society in spite of the hand life dealt. What a gift I was given to be her father, I truly have been compensated.”
After the initial shock of finding out I had a double lung transplant, I was excited. I made plans to run for miles and go on long hikes in the mountains. These are things I had so badly wanted to be able to do but couldn’t due to coughing spells and feeling out of breath due to cystic fibrosis. With new lungs and the ability to breathe again, I have gratefully made plans and accomplished some of them. But due to an array of complications, I physically can’t accomplish running miles or hiking mountains right now. Namely, the medications that saved my life have harmed my hip-joint. It acts up badly these days and eventually will need to be replaced. Yes, a hip replacement and I’m only 26 years old, but I am going to look at that as small stuff after all of the big stuff I’ve been through. As human beings we have a tendency to initially focus on the negatives, what we don’t have but want or think we need but can’t get. We all have to bring our minds around to think that in time, things fall into place, think about all that we CAN do and all of the ways life has compensated us.
With my favorite season, fall, rolling around I am focusing on compensation, on how I truly have been compensated. Here are some of the ways:
- Being alive
- Supportive friends
- Having a great job
- Great food in awesome restaurants
- An amazing Mom & Dad
How have you been compensated in life?