Why not me?

I learned a valuable lesson from my dad. Dad & IHe is 59 years old and has had muscular dystrophy for the past thirty years of his life. We understand each other & I think it’s because, although very different, we both have medical conditions.

People often post about loved ones never asking why, seeming to make them appear stronger. But the fact is, they probably internalized the question “Why me?” at some point after a difficult diagnosis. They just chose to move forward, accept the life they were given and make the best of it.

It’s human nature for the thought to come across our minds and we shouldn’t feel bad about it. We also should never sulk on it, either. Because the answer to “Why me?”, it will most likely never be found.

When I was laying in the hospital bed last year, only able to move my fingers, unable to breathe on my own, the thought “Why me?” ran through my mind. I cried. At first, I cried every single day. I stared into space, a lot. I felt emotions I still can’t even comprehend or express. I was so thankful to be alive and to see my mom’s face when she walked into my hospital room every day. I was also in a lot of pain, physically and emotionally.

So when “Why me?” crossed my mind, I remembered what my dad had said. “Why not me?” I wasn’t exempt from bad things happening. I am no more or less special than the person who was sitting next to me on the train on Sunday. No more or less special than anyone. This is what I think people forget. Sure, not everyone ends up in a medically induced coma for a month and even fewer people have to experience daily life with Cystic Fibrosis. But we are all equal. And no one is exempt from life. If you’re fortunate enough never to have to deal with something bad happening, then I am jealous. But I don’t thing that person exists and if they do, let me know.

So next time you ask “Why me?” in a bad situation, don’t feel ashamed about it. But always follow it with “Why not me?”. You at least will have an answer.

2 comments

  1. Jackie, you and your Dad have always been an inspiration to me. Your Mom has always shown amazing strength, I don’t know your brother, but from his posts he sounds wonderful as well..you are all such a great team!

    Like

  2. Jackie, I have been a friend of your mom’s since the early 1980’s. Over our lifetime as adults with a family I have had the pleasure of being around your dad and you whenever you came to VA Beach and when your mother and I would escape to Nags Head when you were living down there during your college summer breaks. All three of you have reminded me of what true strength and grace under fire is all about. I unfortunately have not been there for your mom these past two years because my daughter two has been very sick but nothing compared to your health crisis. I have not been able to leave her. I to have many health issues from Crohn’s Disease to diabetes 2 but whenever I start to get fustrated with my illnesses I think of your dad and you. I have a short pity party because you two pull me out every time. Keep up the strong fight and know that you are on this Earth for so many reasons and one is to help others keep going when they feel down. Thanks for sharing your dad’s words with all of us because he is so right. You just reminded me I need to call your mom. Have a blessed day. Debbie Billing

    Liked by 1 person

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